As a long-time practicing pediatrician and a mother of two, I find myself looking away, more and more, from what I observe parents and children doing out in the wild. Some of it is humorous, while other times it is questionable, and occasionally it is downright dangerous. I get it. The list of dos and don'ts that parents face is overwhelming. In my experience, the most significant boundary challenges for families revolve around behavior, independence, and safety. As physicians, our parenting comes under even greater scrutiny. Fair or not, welcomed or shunned, clinicians are often seen as parenting role models. Recognizing this unwritten job role, here are three things by developmental stage that I would never do, or would never let my child do, as a pediatrician and a parent. And none of these have anything to do with device use.
1) Toddlers: I would never resort to spanking or yelling as my primary discipline method.
The toddler years are exhilarating and exhausting in equal measure. Full of emerging personality and endless energy, we also see the first steps of independence in the form of tantrums and negotiations. At this stage, it is tempting to fall back on the familiar methods that many of us who “turned out OK” were raised with — a firm shout or a quick smack. The often misinterpreted “spare the rod and spoil the child” may seem like the right approach. As a mother, I too was desperate to modify undesirable behavior so we could proceed with the most basic parts of our day. Still, as a pediatrician who uses evidence-based medicine every day, I cannot allow that in my house — and here’s why.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) policy statement clearly states that parents and caregivers should not use corporal punishment (including spanking) or verbal shaming or humiliation because the evidence shows long-term harm and poor efficacy. Not only do constant screaming and regular spanking ultimately not work as discipline methods, but they also harm your child in the long run. Striking, yelling at, or shaming a child can elevate stress hormones and lead to changes in the brain's architecture. Spanking at age 3, even at low levels, was associated with greater aggression at age 5 and persistent behavioral issues at age 9. A further meta-analysis reveals links to lower self-control, increased externalizing behaviors, and poorer parent-child relationships.
In my home, I adopted consistent, calm, yet firm limit-setting, positive reinforcement, and judicious use of brief time-outs. By yelling or spanking in moments of frustration, I demonstrate poor impulse control and risk teaching my child that volume or force equates to authority. These are not lessons I want them to learn. Children internalize far more than we realize. Nor do I want to kill their curiosity or squash their spirit with an overly heavy hand. When I wear my pediatrician hat, I counsel families on effective discipline. When I am in parent mode, I try to model it.
2) Elementary/Middle Schoolers: I would never let my children operate or ride on electric or motorized motorbikes.
In my program, senior pediatric residents took overnight call every third night in the PICU when attending physicians were not in-house. During one of these overnights, I was paged to the ER to participate in a trauma. A 6-year-old girl with a severe head injury lay unresponsive in a beautiful, icy blue dress with Elsa and Olaf’s smiling, life-filled faces staring back at me. A shocking contrast to her pale, limp body. What happened? She had hopped on the back of her neighbor's motorbike and sustained a critical head injury when it lost control and crashed into the garage. She never even left the driveway.
As kids transition into grade school and the early adolescent years, they begin testing boundaries and exploring their mobility. If you have recently visited a school or traveled through a neighborhood with children, you have undoubtedly seen the recent proliferation of e-bikes and motorized scooters. Bigger, faster, and more powerful, they are the latest and greatest new toy. This raises significant safety concerns. Advocacy groups suggest that children under 16 should not operate or ride on e-bikes or motorized scooters at all. The reasoning is that the injury rate is surprisingly high, with many of the riders and operators being involved in serious traffic-related or head injury incidents. In 2021 alone, there were an estimated 42,200 ER visits due to e-scooter-related injuries, with 233 deaths associated with micromobility devices (including e-scooters, e-bikes, and hoverboards) from 2017 through 2022.
As a parent and pediatrician, I say no. If it has a motor, I will not allow use until the age when they would otherwise be allowed to operate a vehicle, because that is what these are. I see too many kids presenting with fractures, concussions, or worse. As physicians, we can share our thoughts on the latest trends with patients and equip ourselves with relatable statistics to support them. Suggest appropriate age, helmet use, adult supervision, and safe terrain. In parent mode, we can serve as examples of this in our community. With our children, we can set the rule, communicate it ahead of time, and stand firm. No vehicles that go the speed of a car are allowed until an agreed-upon age and until you demonstrate that you can abide by road rules. Is this overly protective? Perhaps, but we must acknowledge the realities of risk associated with this age group using these novel mobility devices.
3) High Schoolers: I would never let my child habitually get fewer than eight hours of sleep.
Entering the high school years brings significant changes, including increased academic demands, social pressures, participation in athletics, screen use, part-time work, and more. The to-do list for a teenager and a teen parent seems longer than ever. One of the most under-appreciated threats to adolescent health is insufficient sleep. Teens aged 13-18 should regularly sleep 8-10 hours per 24-hour period. The evidence shows that sleeping fewer than the recommended hours is associated with attention problems, mood disorders, metabolic risk, and a higher incidence of accidental injury.
In decades past, it was standard practice for sleep deprivation to be a core part of medical training. Many of us continue to subconsciously operate with this “sleep is for the weak” mindset. I had one instance after an especially rough night when I was jolted awake by blaring horns, disoriented and scared. I realized I had fallen asleep at a stoplight post call. Grateful my foot had not come off the brake, I understood just how much my body could take. Although not sustained for 30 hours, we often allow ourselves and our children to function in a state of partial wakefulness. Chronic sleep deprivation and tiredness are the new norm. In my family, I make prioritizing sleep a non-negotiable. We schedule bedtime, limit late-night obligations, and maintain consistent wake times. Yes, teenagers negotiate, but when I model the behavior by not glamorizing all-night work, the message lands differently. When counseling patients about sleep hygiene, we should practice what we preach.
In my dual role as pediatrician and parent, I chose to draw these lines because I believe that toddlers deserve calm teaching rather than force, that elementary-age kids deserve safe mobility rather than high-speed risk, and that high schoolers deserve restorative sleep rather than glamorized sleep deprivation. So should physicians be parenting role models? Yes, we carry a higher responsibility in our community and at home. Our professional training gives us access to evidence that others do not have. If we are comfortable counseling families on what not to do in the exam room, then we should make every effort to live by those rules ourselves because consistency strengthens our credibility. If clinicians hold themselves accountable, our guidance to families is no longer just academic. It becomes a lived experience. Otherwise, our advice may land more as theory than practice.
What has your experience taught you as a clinician to never let your kid do?
Dr. Nicole Hight is a practicing pediatrician in the Atlanta area and a multi-year recipient of the Top Doctor and Parent Magazine parent choice awards. She earned her undergraduate and medical degrees from Emory University and served as chief resident at Levine Children’s Hospital. She believes a listening ear and an encouraging word changes lives. You can reach her at Linkedin, @yourtrustedpediatrician on Instagram, @doctorhight on TikTok. Dr. Hight was a 2024–2025 Doximity Op-Med Fellow and continues as a 2025–2026 Doximity Op-Med Fellow.
All names and identifying information have been modified to protect patient privacy.
Illustration by April Brust
