During the delivery of a baby last week, the parents informed me that they had decided not to know the sex of the baby prior to delivery. I joked that I would need to watch a You Tube video prior to the momentous event so that I would be reminded of how to correctly identify the “parts” as either boy or girl. Luckily, I got it correct under pressure of both the delivery and the gender identification and disaster was averted. But it did allow me to reflect on how important this subject has become for the newest generation of parents.

When I first started in practice 25 years ago, routine ultrasound at 20 weeks gestation was not standard practice. The quality of ultrasound was far inferior to current imaging and even when looking for gender, you could be mistaken or not obtain a clear picture. Although not evidence based, routine ultrasound at 20 weeks gestation is now the norm and anticipated from the time of the first OB appointment. The medical purpose of the scan is to rule out major structural abnormalities but expectant moms see it as “finding out the sex of the baby”. Relatives and siblings are invited to view the unveiling and crowd into the small, darkened room for the 45 minute procedure.

Reveal events have now become the mid-pregnancy social occasion. The sex of the child is concealed in some way and the expectant parents “reveal” boy or girl status to invited guests. A competition seems to have started for favorite You Tube video/creativity with these events. Subsequently, our office has been swept up into the planning process for the Reveal. Following are just a few of the duties that our Ultrasound Techs have been asked to perform:

1. Call the Bakery and note boy or girl for the couple so that a cake can be baked with either a blue or pink interior frosting, revealed when the cake is cut.

2. Stuff the appropriate color golf balls into a box so that when the balls are hit they emit either a blue or pink cloud of dust.

3. Stuff a pinata with either blue or pink candy.

4. Write the sex of the baby on a piece of paper and fold in such a way that prying eyes can’t deduce the writing. That paper is then given to a favored family member to see, while everyone else stays in the dark until the day of arrival.

Studies have shown that parents bond better with their newborn when they are aware of the sex of the baby prior to delivery. It would also make sense that they would have a name for the baby at delivery, but this seldom seems to be the case. With the current generation of parents, planning how events will unfold during the delivery as well as in the first days post-partum is a priority so it only follows that knowing the sex of the baby would be part of the plan. It is only when they have parented for a few weeks or months, that they come to realize that this wonderful journey is full of detours and bends in the road and not a straight path.

Here’s hoping that I will get the sex correct the next time I am under pressure to perform. I have the You Tube video bookmarked for quick reference.

Leslee Jaeger, MD is an Ob/Gyn specialist in private practice for 25 years reflecting. She reflects on her family, job and international mission work @ jaegerleslee.wordpress.com.