Medical school and residency teach us how to be masters in the art of medicine. We master decisions in high-stakes situations, hone technical skills, and lead teams effectively, at least to an extent. What we are not formally taught is how to manage the difficult people and power dynamics that come with the job. Many do well in interactions because, at our core, we are caring and considerate people. We are also human and complex, and it’s precisely these human interactions that can make or break our professional satisfaction. They can even threaten our jobs. These interactions could include a senior partner dismissing our opinion, a patient roaring in anger, or a colleague quietly undermining us. Whatever the interactions might be, we all face people who feel like “lions.”
Who are the lions at work?
Lions at work aren’t just the obviously powerful figures like department chairs, hospital executives, or seasoned surgeons. They can be anyone who, intentionally or not, can harm us. It may be the colleague competing for the same leadership role, a patient or family member who blames you for their illness, or a subordinate negatively impacting your reputation.
The most dangerous lions can be those who feel powerless or wounded, a common condition in the high stakes and unpredictability found in medicine. Like an injured animal, they lash out from fear or insecurity. Understanding this shifts your perspective from one of a victim and helps you respond with strategy instead of fear.
What Does Lion Taming Mean?
Lion taming isn’t about overpowering others. It’s about accessing your own inner strength, managing relationships with those who have power over you, acting despite fear or discomfort, and leading, even if you are not in charge.
A common belief is that confidence is all you need in an interaction. When confidence relies on only believing in yourself in vague terms, a lion could roar loud enough for confidence to evaporate. It’s common to believe confidence means never feeling afraid. But real confidence is the willingness to feel any negative emotion — fear, embarrassment, anger, shame — and move forward anyway. Action can transform these emotions. Feeling fear and acting anyway transforms into courage. Shame and action transform into resilience.
Emotions Drive Conflict
Workplace tension often stems from moments when we feel dismissed, disrespected, or overlooked. These experiences trigger our primal stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Roaring is fighting. Flight is running away. Freeze is shutting down. Fawn is people-pleasing to stay safe, with bitterness and resentment as a byproduct.
Understanding both your own stress responses and what might be triggering the lion’s roar is crucial. Sometimes, addressing the real pain behind someone’s anger can transform an enemy into an ally, as illustrated in the ancient fable of Androcles and the lion. Androcles removed a thorn from the lion’s paw, turning a dangerous creature into a loyal friend. In human terms, when we identify and soothe the hidden “thorn” — a fear, insecurity, or unmet need — we can change the dynamic entirely.
Ditch the Hammer and the Armor
Under stress, many people default to using the hammer or hiding behind armor. The hammer is a common surgeon tactic with intimidation, aggression, and threats. This works to an extent but does not bring out the best in anyone. Wearing armor may feel safe to an extent, but withdrawing emotionally and refusing vulnerability does not foster true influence.
If you have ever seen a lion tamer, they use honesty, authenticity, emotional intelligence, and strategy. Although they are often outmatched, that doesn’t mean they are without power. They engage with courage, even when they know they are vulnerable.
Dominance and Submission: Two Powerful States
In her book “Unbound: A Woman’s Guide to Power,” Kasia Urbaniak explains that power isn’t about being dominant all the time. It’s about moving fluidly between the two states of dominance and submission and not mixing the two, which is confusing to everyone involved. Dominance is an awareness of your surroundings, using your voice, and steering the dynamic. Submission is knowing what you want and skillfully influencing others to give it to you. Both are essential. Lion taming is about choosing which state to embody and when.
Three Steps To Tame a Lion
If you’re facing a lion in a negotiation or conflict, try the three steps of anchoring, aligning, and the powerful ask. Anchor yourself by establishing calm and safety within. When you know yourself, your values, and can manage your mind and emotions, anchoring is finding the strength from within. Focusing on your breathing can also calm the stress response. In an interaction, the first word should be a deep breath. Aligning your attention by shifting your focus outward can allow you to observe the other person and respond calmly and skillfully. A powerful ask is stating what you want clearly and firmly. The conviction behind your words is often more important than the words themselves, but clarity creates even more power.
Power Is Not a Threat, It’s a Tool
Power is not inherently negative, and you don’t have to roar the loudest to be the most powerful person in the room. It’s not manipulation or dominating negatively, it is the ability to influence outcomes with authenticity, clarity, and focus. When we embrace this idea, we realize we can advocate for ourselves and others, resolve conflicts more effectively, and shape our careers and environments for the better. We generate safety in interactions, and that is the most effective environment for a negotiation that leads to mutually beneficial outcomes.
What strategies have helped you navigate difficult dynamics in medicine? Share in the comments.
Amy Vertrees, MD, is a general surgeon in private practice, author of “Become the BOSS MD: Success Beyond Residency,” certified coach, and founder of the BOSS Business of Surgery Series.
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