I received a one-star review from a patient of mine recently. It’s not my first. It probably won’t be my last. But this one hurt more than most.
This particular patient gave me one star for a few reasons. The first was a claim that we charged her twice, which turned out to be false. But it was the second claim that really affected me. She accused me of not providing her with proper care, saying that I “didn’t bother to come to her delivery.”
As an ob/gyn, I take my patient’s needs seriously. I get to know them intimately throughout their pregnancies, and I care about them deeply as individuals. I want to be at everyone’s delivery. But that is simply impossible, and it’s why in my practice, we work hard to make sure that our patients are familiar with all of us, so that no matter who is at delivery, it’s a capable — and familiar — face.
In her case, I wasn’t on call that night. I did get to spend time with her; I had met with the patient while I was at work, and then a partner physician took over her care after I went home. This is the proper protocol, and with good reason: It is a policy that is built on the need for patients to receive the best care possible. I had been up since 5 a.m. two mornings prior, nearly 36 hours straight. I had reached the point of exhaustion where it wouldn’t even be safe to be caring for patients.
This isn’t the only time when I’ve had to hand my patient’s care to another physician. There have been times when I was too sick to safely come into work. There have been times when I have had to prioritize my family over my job. But I always ensure that my patients have the best care available, even if it isn’t from me. To be told that this makes me a bad doctor feels deeply dehumanizing.
People expect a lot from their doctors, as they should. I expect a lot from myself. I work more hours by Wednesday than most people work in a full week. That’s the kind of effort I feel my patients deserve. Even when I am not at work, I am thinking and worrying about their care because it’s my job to give them the best I can possibly offer. But these high expectations should not come at the expense of my own humanity.
The practice of medicine is complex, and narrowing the most momentous experiences of a person’s life to a five-star rating system is simply not adequate, nor is it reflective of how our health system works. I’d have loved to have taken a call from that patient, to hear her out and to explain why we cared for her the way that we did, so that should she choose a subsequent pregnancy, she would not come away from that experience with an avoidably bad memory.
My friends and family often call doctors “superheroes,” and my response is always to tell them that we aren’t. We’re human beings who need rest and get the flu like everyone else. We’re parents who still need to make time to show up for our children, who are often the ones sacrificing for the sake of our careers. We’re people who care a lot and do our best and still sometimes fall short.
I’m not saying that people should not hold their doctors accountable, especially in the rare case of error or wrongdoing. But I ask that people think twice before posting their next Google review. Because on the other end of that one-star rating is a real person doing everything they can. I promise I am.
What was your worst review? Share in the comments.
Laura Whisler, MD, FACOG, is a board-certified ob/gyn practicing in Kansas. Dr. Whisler completed her residency in obstetrics and gynecology through the University of Kansas School of Medicine at Wesley Medical Center.
Illustration by Jennifer Bogartz
