Dear Younger Me,

I write to you, 10 years older, with a few more wrinkles and a little more sarcastic, to give you hope that you will make it through this next decade with grace. These 10 years have been some of the most challenging yet, but they have also shined the most light on the greatness that lies within you. I see you — a new fellow, excited for the journey ahead, nervous for the future, eyes gleaming with anticipation and a touch of uncertainty. You’re about to embark on a journey that intertwines the art of healing with the complexities of life. You never stop learning and gain insights never imaginable with your drive to deeply know more. Your once stifled creativity will bloom into a garden hardly recognizable.

You’re determined, passionate, and perhaps a bit apprehensive about balancing your aspirations with the life you envision outside the hospital walls. You just announced your first pregnancy, and this in itself is scary. I can offer reassurance that you have sound judgement and the tools you need to make the best decisions with the information you have. The next 10 years will prove to be some of the most mentally, physically, and emotionally trying years. The good news is that you make it through with a tenacity you never knew you could muster.

I share with you some of the most enduring lessons I’ve gathered over the past decade, hoping they provide a sense of peace and guidance as you navigate the path ahead.

1) Embracing the Unpredictability

Medicine, much like life, is inherently unpredictable. There will be nights when you feel alone, days that seem like they will never end, and months when you are not sure how you can protect your family from a pandemic that ravages the globe. You surround yourself with wisdom and trust people who help you navigate childcare, hectic work schedules, overcommitted calendars, and even better job security.

2) Recognizing the Power of Partnership

You and your partner will become a formidable team, balancing call schedules, daycare pickups, and the myriad responsibilities that come with parenthood. There will be days when you’ll hand off children in hospital parking lots, share quick meals in call rooms, and lean on each other during the most challenging times. This partnership will be your anchor. Your investment in mutual respect, shared responsibilities, and shared decision-making will pay dividends. You do more than see the world together; you create a better version of the world together!

3) Redefining Success

Success won’t always align with the titles or accolades you once aspired to. Leaving academia to start your own practice will be a leap of faith, challenging the conventional path you thought you’d follow. But this decision will reignite your passion, allowing you to practice medicine on your terms and prioritize the aspects of care that matter most to you. You will even go on to publish your story about your Center of Excellence that spurred from a relationship you never saw coming.

4) Navigating Motherhood in Medicine

Being a physician-mother is a unique journey. You struggle to make friends who understand you, but once you find your tribe, you grow more confident that you have built something magnificent. There will be times when you’ll feel like you’re not giving enough — missing school events, arriving late to meetings, or feeling torn between two worlds. But remember, your children will see your dedication, resilience, and compassion. They’ll learn the value of hard work and the importance of pursuing one’s passion. They will see that starting over does not mean failure but redefines what success is in a way that is healthy and rewarding.

5) Building Your Village

You can’t do it all alone, and that’s okay. Lean on your community — colleagues, friends, family, and even online support groups. These connections will provide advice, share in your joys and challenges, and remind you that you’re not alone in this journey. You become more extroverted, and sharing things about yourself is part of your brand. You speak out and advocate for what you believe is right!

6) Embracing Feedback

Patient reviews, once a source of anxiety, will become tools for growth. They’ll offer insights into your practice, highlighting areas of strength and opportunities for improvement. Embrace them with humility, using them to refine your approach and deepen your connection with those you serve.

7) Knowing the Importance of Self-Compassion

There will be moments of doubt, instances where you’ll question your decisions or feel overwhelmed by the weight of your responsibilities. In these times, practice self-compassion. Recognize that perfection is unattainable, and it’s okay to seek help, take breaks, and prioritize your well-being. Reading will be the greatest tool you have to develop the skills you will need to be the best advocate for yourself.

8) Celebrating the Small Moments

Amidst the chaos, cherish the simple joys — Friday movie nights with your family, spontaneous dance parties in the living room, or quiet moments of reflection. These instances will provide balance, grounding you and reminding you of the beauty in everyday life. Even the still moments at night when you are alone with your thoughts are a reflection of how far you have come.

9) Advocating for Change

Your experiences will highlight systemic challenges within the medical field, especially concerning support for physician mothers. Use your voice to advocate for change, pushing for policies that promote work-life balance, equitable opportunities, and a more inclusive environment for all. Your voice amplifies to your patients also and promotes a movement of seeking better care for oneself.

10) Trusting the Journey

Looking back, you’ll realize that the path, though winding and filled with unexpected turns, grief, loneliness, and triumphs, has led you to a fulfilling and meaningful life. Trust in your resilience, adaptability, and the support of those around you. Each challenge will shape you, each success will uplift you, and together, they’ll craft a narrative uniquely yours in a space that had not existed before you brought it shape.

So, dear younger me, step forward with confidence. Do not give up! Embrace the journey with all its complexities, knowing that each experience will contribute to the physician, mother, and individual you become. The road ahead is challenging, but it’s also rich with growth, love, and fulfillment.

With hope and optimism,

Your Future Self

What advice would you give your past self? Share in the comments.

Dr. Brittany Panico is a rheumatologist in Phoenix, AZ. She is a wife and mother of three awesome boys and enjoys hiking, being outdoors, traveling, and reading. She posts on @AZRheumDoc on Instagram and Brittany Panico, DO, on LinkedIn. Dr. Panico was a 2023–2024 Doximity Op-Med Fellow and continues as a 2024–2025 Doximity Op-Med Fellow.

Illustration by Jennifer Bogartz